ABC
by LassieLowrider
Summary: A 26 chapter long fic made up of different oneshots, all Harry-centric and all in aplhabetical order. Warnings for most of everything really. Not yet M, but will in the future be so. Appreciate suggestions and feedback.
1. A stands for

**A/N: I'm starting this one-shot fic as a bit of a pet project. It will include 26 different fics, all in the order of the alphabet- if you have a suggestion for the next word, review and tell me. It's Harry-centric, some may be M, if so I'll tell you at the top. I don't think they'll have anything in common, if they do, again, I'll tell you. There will probably be both slash, het and femslash. Some might even be two or more words, depending on suggestions and inspirations, but of course all will be the same letter.**

**I don't own, and I don't want to, either.**

**Yes, I like obscure words. So sue me. All obscure-ness is found at phrontistery(dot)info. **

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_A stands for Archaeolatry (the worship of archaic things or __old customs__)._

The wizarding world was a horribly archaic place: they believed in arranged marriages, women lower than cockroaches and the fact that children wasn't children, but heirs. The Weasley's were marginally better, if only for the fact that they actually cherished the children for what they were.

But Harry would never be able to stay in the wizarding world, neither would Hermione. No matter how much they loved magic and their pure/half-blood friends, they were all to used to the fact that a woman could speak her mind, that anyone could marry whoever they felt like marrying.

They were used to a modern community, which the wizarding world wasn't, and never could be. They briefly entertained the thought of changing things, but even though they both had helped defeat Voldemort (hell, one of them even did the deed!), they had no chance.

The wizarding world was too archaeolatic to even briefly entertain the thought of changing, and therefore, not a place where Harry and Hermione Potter could spend the rest of their lives, and absolutely not a place to raise their unborn child.

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**Yes, I couldn't resist doing another, specially when I saw this word. This one is a very minidrabble thing, but I couldn't resist this word!**

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_A stands for Arachibutyrophobia (the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of mouth)._

The fact that it, in the end, had been so easy. Harry never had to kill him with his own hands. Hell, no one needn't kill him at all. He did it all so neatly, himself.

But who the hell would've thought that Lord Voldemort, the invincible man with seven horcruxes, would be deathly afraid of peanut butter? More so, than Ron of spiders.

In the end, all it took was a sandwich with some peanut butter on, and a slight compulsion, that now worked because of his weakened state after having all his horcruxes destroyed, on the sandwich to eat it. Somehow, the peanut butter stuck to the roof of his mouth, and he had a heart attack from the fear it instilled in him.

Slightly anticlimactic, but effective, and Harry never needed to bloody his hands.

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**Well? What do you think? Review with suggestions for B! The more obscure it is, the better! I've got it as a goal to have at least one uploaded every week, but we'll see. I hope you liked it!**


	2. B stands for

**Well, here's the second instalment. Have no idea if this is a very unusual word, or only slightly so, but since Lucy doesn't know it, I hope it's kinda unusual.**

**Still don't own, still don't want to.**

"Talking", 'Signing', _'Thinking', "Hat talking to Harry/Harry talking to Hat" __**"Hat talking out loud and in thoughts"**_

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_B stands for Baryecoia (deafness, hard of hearing)._

"Potter, Harry!" Transfiguration professor Minerva McGonagall called, once again, this time with her Scottish burr making the words slightly harsher than the first two times. Headmaster Albus Dumbledore looked out over the first years, hoping to find the unruly head of raven hair that he was looking for, his customary twinkle dimmed to hardly there.

There! He found him! He gave Minerva a slight wave of his hand, indicating where the boy she was looking for could be found. The stern, middle-aged woman marched towards the head of unruly hair to be found in the middle of the crowd of eleven-year-olds.

She grabbed him by his shoulder, and said something in a low tone to him, and he looked at her, confused. He then started to move his hands, in what seemed to be random shapes to others, but Albus understood. 'I'm sorry, but I can't hear you.' Minerva, it seemed, understood to, or, at least, understood the gist of it, as she started to move her lips in exaggerated shapes to make sure he could read her. Harry nodded, understanding dawning, and he moved over towards the chamber next to the staff table.

***After the Feast***

Harry, who had been waiting anxiously while eating the small feast that had been mysteriously laid out for him in the small room which he had been sent to, looked up as the shadows and lights in the room shifted, signifying that someone had opened the door.

The old man, probably Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster, who'd been sitting in the massive chair behind the raised table, entered, followed by the stern old lady, a slightly greasy, glaring man, a kind looking witch with smudges of dirt on her hat and a diminutive man.

The greasy man sneered at him and said something, quite sharply, he suspected, since he wasn't able to read his lips fast enough to catch what he said. When he made a confused face, not sure if anyone knew sign language, it seemed understanding dawned on the tall, long-bearded man. He quickly started signing, his hands moving almost as quick as birds wings.

'Harry? Are you okay? We are sorry for this, but it was a shock to realise that you were, well, deaf. We are not exactly sure if you can learn magic, considering it is based so much upon sound.' Harry looked intently on his hands, and not until a few seconds later, did it dawn upon him what the man had signed.

'What do you mean, not sure if I can be taught magic? You sent me a letter, promising me a way out of there, out of the orphanage!' He signed, furiously. The man looked shocked and quickly signed back. 'What do you mean orphanage? I thought you lived with your aunt and uncle!'

Harry looked annoyed and sighed. 'Yes, I did, until my family lost their lives in the car accident which stole my hearing! And, if magic relies so upon sound, why not let me do it, reading the professors lips, and if I miss something, maybe have one of those quick-quote quills I saw at the store at Diagon write it down?'

Albus Dumbledore reclined in the chair which he had taken residence in, looking thoughtful. _'Why, that just might work. A quick-quote quill, and he'll have all the instructions… He'll just have to master silent casting, and that shouldn't be so hard to do, considering he doesn't really have a choice!' _

He quickly turned to Minerva, and gestured for her to go get the Hat.

When she came back, he looked at the small, undernourished child in front of them. The hat spoke up. "So… This is the illustrious Harrison James Potter, the deaf boy-who-lived. Well, put me upon his head, deputy Headmistress, and I shall place him where he belongs."

Harry almost flinched when the stern old lady put the hat upon his head, but refrained at the last moment. And then he did flinch, hearing a voice for the first time in seven years can do that to you. _"And what do we have here, hm? A deaf wizard, not often you see that sort of thing anymore. I, child, is the Sorting Hat. __**The idea with the quick-quote quill is a very good one, but wouldn't it almost be smarter, to hear it? That way, you hear the pronunciation of the Latin spells. I offer my services as a way for young Potter to be with in the lessons, as a way for young Potter to hear again.**__" _

Harry gasped. _"Would you really do that for me, Mr. Hat?" _The Hat chuckled. _"Of course I would, dear child. And really, no mister. That makes me sound so old. But now, however, we come to the subject of placement. You have the attributes of all the houses, hardworking, loyal, ambitious, smart, quick thinking, brave… But, I think, it is for your own best, that you become a __**Hogwarts Ward**__!" _

The teachers, who until this point had been arguing over what the best course of action would be, and finally agreed that the Hat would become Harry's constant companion, looked up, shocked. No child had been declared a Hogwarts Ward since 1376, when young Alberto Trawkins, a mute, had been sorted.

Albus Dumbledore began to sign, speaking out loud also, for everyone's benefit. "Well, I think the best course action here would be that I simply take the guardianship of you, Harry, and therefore the responsibility… The Hat will be with you during your lessons, and you shall, of course, be allowed to learn magic. You will be granted a room in the staff towers, close to my own, since you now are Hogwarts, and therefore mine, Ward."

Harry quickly signed his acceptance, and while knowing this would very much distance him from his peers, he also knew that they were immature and that they would never understand his handicap. He also knew that this opportunity was a great one, he knew that in company with so many teachers, he would learn a lot of magic that his peers never would.

***Seven years later***

The graduation ceremony of '98 showed a, while still deaf, happy and healthy Harrison James Potter-Dumbledore, having been adopted by Albus Dumbledore the summer between second and third year, when Albus had showed up unannounced at St. Brigitte's Orphanage, to visit the young man he already viewed as a grandson. When he had seen the abuse the young, deaf boy suffered at their hands, he gathered Harry's things and took Harry's hand and apparated away, to never return.

Even though the wizarding worlds greatest minds had been working on it, they never did find a cure, but Harry was happy anyways, since he had the hat to help him anytime, since he only was needed about an hour every year.

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**Well, this one turned long. **

**It's not really strange that this word is as obscure as it is, 'cause as Lucy said: 'Why the hell use such a complicated word as 'Baryecoia', when it's simpler to say 'deaf'?'**

**Longest chapter ever written for me: 1378 words.**


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